Bring on the Funny

We asked for your best (worst?), most groan-inducing, belly-laugh provoking musical jokes and puns… and you sent us plenty. Some of you gifted us with a list of your favorites, while others shared entire websites devoted to music-related humor; one person even wrote her own joke.

Enjoy these chucklers; share them at your own risk.

How can you tell if a singer is at your door?
They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
–Anonymous

How long does it take for a conductor to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows because nobody was watching.
–Jennifer Mahoney

If you really want to sing with a friend: Just duet.
–Ramona Zavala

What Christmas carol do you sing when you’re waiting for a train in Chicago?
No “L”
–Maureen Schoenbeck

What do you call a computer that sings with powerful emotion?
A-Dell
–Jan Ackley Malecha

Son to Dad: “Dad, when I am a grownup, I want to be a musician!”
Dad to Son: “Sorry, Son. You can’t be both.”
–Helen Stancikas

Most erudite joke
“My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the ‘William Tell Overture’ without thinking of The Lone Ranger.” Irish actor, comedian and musician, Billy Connolly
–Mark Cornell

If you don’t “C Sharp,” you’ll B Flat.
–Phos Rivera

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor!”
–Ron Solberg

A drummer is tired of being mocked all the time by the other musicians, so he decides to learn a new instrument. He walks into a music store.
Clerk: “How may I help you?”
Drummer: “I’d like that red trumpet and that accordion over there.”
Clerk: “Sure, you can have the fire extinguisher, but the radiator stays.”
–Sarah

Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
–Elizabeth Taggart

I don’t have a favorite, but I asked my daughter (who graduated from Oberlin Conservatory in saxophone performance), and she referred me to an MIT website with all sorts of jokes. They are even broken down according to instrument. http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/#vocal
–Ann E. Nunez

Best original joke
Why do the tenors and basses prefer to keep to themselves?
Because sopranos and altos are always in treble.
–Susan Barton

What is the hardest musical instrument to play?
Second fiddle.
–Jon Littman

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
–Anonymous

If a drummer comes out of retirement, will there be repercussions?
–Joell Escude

Why do they play harps in heaven?
Because lyres can’t get in.
–John Mueller

When do ducks sing?
At the QUACK of dawn.
–Mary Beth Speer

Most prolific jokester

How do you make a bandstand?Take away their chairs.

You say Car-MEEN-a and I say Car-MINE-a…Let’s carl the whole thing orff!

How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?None. They can’t reach that high!

At any given time, the urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” isjust a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.”

–Rick Sladek

What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can’t tuna fish.
–Jennifer Lesneak-Mahoney