For all of us, the coronavirus has brought changes, worries and unknowns, but the demand for us to practice “social distancing” has left many of us dealing with those all on our own.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand and agree with the wisdom of reducing the potential for contagion, and fully intend to do my part.  But it reminds me of some recent discussion in the medical literature about the negative impact of loneliness and social isolation in older adults. 

You may have seen the article in the December, 2019 issue of AARP magazine https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2019/medical-cure-for-loneliness.html that talked about, among other things, the health risks of loneliness:

“Loneliness is a killer — an array of studies have found that it leaves us more likely to die from heart disease and is a contributing factor in other fatal conditions. It makes us more vulnerable to Alzheimer’s disease, high blood pressure, suicide, even the common cold. It’s more dangerous to our health, researchers tell us, than obesity, and it’s the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”

Our brains evolved to perceive being alone as a potential threat, since there has always been survival value in being surrounded by others.  Back when we were cavemen (Jonathan reminds me that this is actually during his current lifetime), our chances of surviving an attack by a saber-toothed tiger were better if we were surrounded by our tribe.  So even though we’re a few thousand years away from being cave dwellers, our body still reacts to being alone with its typical response to threat.  Loneliness appears to increase the body’s cellular inflammatory process, which plays a part in the cascade of negative behavioral and health problems such as those mentioned earlier. 

And one of the solutions to the problem of loneliness is to fight loneliness, like… sing in Sounds Good!  Volunteer or sing in Good Memories!  Go out for coffee or lunch with your singing buddies!   Over the past four years, we have created a community that sings together, laughs together (think “Teeny Face, Big Face”!), shares our joys and sorrows, and makes the connections that enhance our health. And this community is a powerful weapon in our fight against loneliness…and maybe against coronavirus, too. 

Obviously, we can no longer sing together, as in “together in-person”, as we were able only a week ago.  But I’d like to suggest that our community can continue – in new forms that respect our wishes to keep ourselves healthy; and that our community, through the care, concern, and joy that we have for each other, may be the closest thing we have to a vaccination – against coronavirus and against loneliness.  We’re the vulnerable group, at high risk for both, so let’s get ahead of the medical field and inoculate ourselves in the ways we already know how to do!

We don’t have to be isolated.  As we sit in our houses, protecting our health from the potential danger of COVID-19, let’s make a commitment to reach out to each other – to check in with each other by phone or email or Facebook or some other way that I haven’t even imagined.  Think of the person who was your “singing buddy” in choir – it’s likely that you haven’t been able to see them and sit next to them this week, but have you contacted them to ask if they’re okay?  And what about someone else from choir who may come to mind, and you wonder if he or she could use a phone call or an email to check in? 

We’re a lively and energetic bunch.  In addition to the tried-and-true, let’s create and practice new, fun ways to stay connected.  I’ve heard some good ones already:  the choir member who was working on learning to play Scrabble online with her friends; the one who had an idea of forming a book club with conference-call meetings; and Jonathan’s latest idea of adding “Thursday morning streaming coffee hour” to our upcoming offerings of online Sounds Good and Good Memories rehearsals.

After years of not joining Facebook, in part for reasons of my profession, I’ve decided that these challenging times require changes.  So, I’ll be looking to connect with all of you who are already in Facebook-land!  I don’t have any idea yet what it means to connect there, but I’ll be learning.  It feels good to be an “old dog” learning a new trick!  Let’s stretch ourselves in turning this difficult situation into an opportunity to learn something new, or do something differently, in an effort to support and care for each other.

Jon and I would love to hear your ideas.  Please share with us the ways that you’re building community and staying connected.  I’d love to see my email inbox full of your creativity…it’s lonely here at the (home) office, and I miss all of you! 

–Sandy

The Rev. Dr. Sandy Siegel Miller is co-founder of Sounds Good Choir, NFP and Program Director of the Good Memories Choir.